Why?

As I write this, dear friends are calling to ask “what did you do when you could not stop the bleeding?” That is what compels me to write but I have a huge level of discomfort writing. Not because I’m embarrassed. No. I want my friends to know their options. I’m uncomfortable because I’m a happy introvert. My experience could have been different if I had known more. I researched extensively in between my pain attacks trying to decipher what was happening. I found Lara Briden’s books especially helpful when I had no GP to provide insight and assess what might be happening. Online consultations sent me to the pharmacy with ways to quell the blood loss but no answers to the root cause. Reading and researching takes time. I had time. We were locked in our houses and I had nothing but time. 

Why is discussing a uterus any different than say my appendix or tonsils?  If they have to come out they are removed. No questions. We know now that its a good idea to keep tonsils in place. The same is becoming true for our uterus. There is a wave of change happening in how woman communicate about sexual and reproductive health. We are more transparent about our experiences. There is less silence and less embarrassment about admitting what phase of life we are in. We’ve finally realised we deserve to be pain-free, clear thinking and healthy as we age.  

“You won’t be having kids at this point in your life so removing your uterus will not affect your life any longer” is a statement I’ve heard a few times over over the last 5 years. It was not until 1990 that the Office of Research on Women’s Health was established at the National Institute of Health (NIH) and the Office of Women’s Health at the FDA. In Canada the Federal Plan for Gender Equality in Health was established in 1995. Women’s bodies are still a new frontier in medicine. That sounds cheesy and makes me think of Star Trek but sadly it is true. Growing up I never thought there was less known medically about my body than my brother’s. To be honest I never thought about any of it. Currently clinical trials for new drugs use few if any women since our hormones complicate studies. 

Why is all this relevant?

My story began with mysterious pain attacks that took me to emergency rooms from the age of 17 until my mid early 30s. I’ve had heavy painful periods all my life but in the last three years they became so excessive I began to frequent the emergency rooms. Each clinical or emergency room visit ended with a different diagnosis; kidney stones, bruised ribs, fibroids or “we simply don’t know but we do think your pain is real”.  In June of 2020 I literally lost the plot. I was broken, alone, weak from blood loss, scared to get covid, and scared to bring covid back to my family. I finally spoke up. I begged the attending physician to do more studies instead of sending me home with more highly addictive pain meds. I was terrified. 

He looked at me. “Ok, we’ll try a few more tests.” he said. By the end of night I was on a list for an MRI. “We can’t see much on the CT scan but it looks like there is scaring. You need an MRI so we’ll refer you to a gynaecologist.” I went home and called the next day to follow up. “The wait time is typically 6 months.” the receptionist explained. “We can’t see you until you have the MRI.” In the months that followed I was in the emergency room 3 more times.

Shockingly, a hysterectomy, the removal of the uterus or womb, is the second most performed surgery in Canada and the United States. Dr. Aviva Romm states that “half of all women in the US aged 60 and over will have had a hysterectomy”. The National Women’s Health Network in the United States surveyed that 11.7% of women between the ages of 41-44 had a hysterectomy between 2006-2010. So what is a hysterectomy? It all depends on what is removed and how; laparoscopic, vaginal or abdominal surgery. A total hysterectomy, a radical hysterectomy, along with removal of ovaries and fallopian tubes or a subtotal hysterectomy. Each is different and performed for various reasons such as cancer, fibroids, and endometriosis. Women’s long term health is directly effected by the fact that you do or don’t have a uterus and ovaries. Dr. Romm states in her book Hormone Intelligence that there is a connection between the brain and the uterus through the autonomic nervous system that may protect women against dementia. Losing your uterus and ovaries before naturally occurring menopause may contribute to heart disease, breast cancer, osteoporosis and mental decline. We are learning more each day about how important the uterus and ovaries are to our long term health. 

While I speak openly about my experience to friends and family I am amazed with the golden nuggets of information I learn from people who share with me that they too had issues and how they managed. Each story is different. 

How It All Started

“You women are so strong” the surgeon told me. “you are anaemic, losing blood, mentally unsure  from stress and hormone disruption yet you continue to move forward. People see you as fine when you are so very far from it. I know you’re suffering and you are weak but when the hospital calls you have to sound weak.”  He pause.  “I mean it. You have to sound really weak or else you won’t get the surgery.” I laughed. I’d been suffering for so long with extreme blood loss it was ironic that he was telling me to “fake it”.  He continued. “ If men experienced the level of castration that you women experience every day, the medical profession would be turned on its head.” That statement meant nothing to me at the time he said. All I knew was that I need to get my haemoglobin above the surgery minimum at it was only 1 digit above. I had to keep it there until they took blood to assess my state prior to surgery. 

How do I start this story and make it appealing to you? My story is just that. Mine. What worked for me may not work for you but as I watch my three nieces grow, as I listen to my best friend’s daughter start her menarche (aka period), I see each of them taking similar steps I took which lead me to this point in my health where medicine has no other solution for women than simply “taking it out”. It, meaning uterus.

7 Steps to Knowing your Style

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Picture - Frame Web

Instagram, pinterest and design magazines are helpful, and if you know what you’re looking for, they provide a great start to your living room update, bathroom or kitchen renovation. However, if you don’t know what your style is, all options tend to look good and it can become confusing. How does one recognise their own style? Here are few easy steps:

  1. Look at your clothing selection.

  2. What colours dominate?

  3. Sweaters and fabric with patterns or textures?

  4. Do you have lots of black clothing?

  5. Does clutter bother you? If it does, you will tend to like orderly and more minimal spaces.

  6. What were your favourite spaces as a child. These spaces provide an emotional connection which is important when designing successful spaces.

  7. What do you want the space to do?

Only you can answer the above questions but gathering your thoughts on a page will begin the process we call programming. It lists the desires, look, feel and needs of your project. In November we are launching a quiz and e-course to help guide you to knowing and implementing your style in your space. Still don’t know what your style is? Call us, we have a fun quiz to help narrow down your amazing style.

Mirrors. How to use them?

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Mirrors provide information so we tend to only think of them that way. Mirrors are very important for making sure you have no spinach in your teeth, but in the world of interiors, they help create interesting spaces by adding another layer to a room. Layers of interest can be achieved with patterns, colour, lighting, art and especially mirrors. The simplest way is with mirrors. They add depth to any room while also distracting and moving the eye around the space, and ultimately adding a sense of glamour. You can never have enough glamour in your life. Get a sense that there is a missing element to your living room but you can’t pinpoint what it is? Add a mirror. Any type of mirror can help but if you have your eye on a very expensive old vintage one, make your own by getting a mirror cut, add acid to “age” it and frame it in a fancy ornate frame. Want a modern but old look? Paint a baroque style frame a high gloss, high saturated bold colour like a grey pink or emerald green. Auction houses, garage sales and antique shops are good places to start your search.

Want more tips? Sign up for our online course due out in November.

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Restaurant Trends

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Think of your cafe as a person

The cycle of influence or trend movements is an interesting one. Remember when offices were just desks, chairs and maybe a personal light at your desk? Suddenly pingpong tables and hot desk design became the norm, and now you're lucky if you even have a personal drawer, but remember, you do have a pingpong table and an uber cool cafe, so that makes up for the lack of personal space and privacy.

Cafes are now "designed" in Melbourne. When I first arrived from London, I was well experienced with pampering which people sought in hospitality. Paying for a fancy meal while heading out of the building for the toilet seemed wrong but it was normal here. The new normal. I needed to adapt to my new world. Happily in the 10 years that have quickly elapsed, cafes and restaurants are pulling up their socks and even paying design firms to create spaces we all dream of, with bathrooms in the building. 

Its 2018 and at long last romance is returning to the hospitality industry. With welcoming, and even sexy interior architecture and design. Melbourne has been obsessed with an endless cycles of Danish design with its clean, and at times, overly sterile interiors. Now people subliminally a hug when they come to a cafe. They want to feel the love. There are a glut of amazing coffee spots with entertaining baristas who will happily supply your morning fix. But we've now graduated recently to the big leagues of hospitality design.  (That is, caring about the space and knowing that a professional will help improve the business on multiple levels). Think about creating a design that is filled with your cafe's personality, a "branded space" as I like to call it. 

How? Think of the space as a person. What does this person want to tell people? How do they want to say it? How do they want guests to feel? Do you want people to linger a long time or quickly leave? When designing a restaurant bring your awareness to the coming trends rather than those that are currently consuming everyone's frontal lobe. You don't want to invest in a design that will be dated before you open. Look at how people will move through the space. Create a personality for your cafe and look to the future and see where current trends are developing. The goal is to create a classical restaurant that will transcend time and become the local everyone wants to return to. 

Slowfood in Europe recognises great restaurant food providers with their logo if they did not rush people to leave. The ideas is to slow down and enjoy life. Lets slow down and give yourself and your phone a rest. Give your guests lots of love with great food, powerful design and caring service. They will repay it tenfold with years of loyalty. 

 

Need some help? Call us.

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